'METAPHOR' - Monday 31st October 2005

Author Patrick Neate's website entry for the 22nd of October describes him trying to find metaphors in various oddities he encounters in everyday life. I wonder what he'd make of what happened to me the other day: my Oxfam MAKE POVERTY HISTORY wristband snapped in half! There's GOT to be a metaphor in there somewhere, surely.

Yesterday, I was in my car with a friend, when a football came flying over a fence and hit a pedestrian smack in the head. The pedestrian didn't seem overly perturbed. He just kicked the ball back over the fence. I have a feeling there must be methaphor in that, too. Or perhaps the richest metaphor is to be found in the fact that I didn't actually see the incident with my own eyes, because I was too busy focussing on the road ahead. I had to settle for having it described to me by the aforementioned friend.

'PROGRESS' - Saturday 29th October 2005

Today I received a letter from an agent which was slightly different from those normally pushed through my door. This one stated that they would get back in touch with me as soon as "one of the Agents has had a chance to read" the stuff I sent them! I found this so hard to believe, I did wonder for a moment if it was someone's idea of a joke. But no, the missive looks genuine enough. I realise I shouldn't get too excited at this stage. After all, they haven't said they're going to read the whole script: all they've got at the moment is a synopsis and the first 18 pages of the screenplay. But at least this is a more encouraging development than the usual "sorry, we're currently inundated with work" response.

I've also just completed the first draft of a radio play entitled Voicemail and I'm about to start working on the second drafts of two children's books I wrote recently: The Pumpkin Seed and Lazy Bones. A good friend has already produced 25 illustrations for the former, but I have yet to see them!

So, yes, the muse has been generous of late.

'AGEING' - Wednesday 19th October 2005

This week's Time Magazine cover story is a series of extracts from a new book called Healthy Ageing by Professor Andrew Weil. Putting aside the specifics of his advice, I found many of his general observations about Western societies' attitudes towards ageing quite worthwhile... and quite depressing. In a nutshell, he believes current trends towards trying to reverse ageing (in all its manifestations) are futile and counterproductive, not to mention scientifically dubious.

I especially liked his views on the things one can hope to look forward to whilst one ages: "wisdom, depth of character, the smoothing out of what is rough and harsh, the evaporation of what is inconsequential and the concentration of true worth." They reminded me of something a Jewish friend - whose father is a rabbi - told me when Hollywood celebrities' interest in the Kabbalah started making news. She said that as far as she's ever been aware, the study of the Kabbalah was tradtionally reserved for rabbis of a very senior age, as it is only after accumulating several decades of life experience that they are considered to be ready to appreciate the text's meanings. I must say I found this formal acknowledgement of the many benefits of old age quite inspiring, but by the same token I must confess I am dismayed by how this too has fallen prey to the short-sightedness of individualism, youth and consumerism.

'TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE' - Monday 17th October 2005

I went to the cinema again last night and had another look at the poster mentioned below... only to be disappointed when I discovered it wasn't an official Disney poster at all. No, it was just a national bookshop chain trying to shift some old C S Lewis stock, I expect. So there we are: I guess I WAS right to be surprised that Disney would try to encourage people to pick up a book.

'RADICAL' - Saturday 15th October 2005

I was walking out of my local cinema last night when I saw a poster for the upcoming film version of The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe... and my jaw nearly guillotined all the way to the floor when I saw its advertising tagline:

READ IT BEFORE YOU SEE IT

No, I'm not kidding! This was a poster for a Disney film and it was actually encouraging people to go out and read and a book! I have no idea what this latest big screen adaptation is going to be like, but I hope its marketeers aren't shooting themselves in the foot with their unorthodox campaign. Just think of how many disgruntled punters there would have been if the same tactic had been used to promote, say, Angela's Ashes or The Handmaid's Tale or The Unbearable Lightness Of Being. However, I am going to take advantage of my ignorance of the merits (or lack of) of the film and add my own (paltry) support to any attempt to make people read by providing a link to a place where you too can buy the book. Just click on the photo above.

Now let's just hope the movie isn't complete rubbish...

'FIFTY' - Friday 14th October 2005

Went to a very special 'do' the other day. An ex-colleague of mine has been a teacher for 50 years, so she decided to invite 50 'representatives' of various stages of her long career. I was fortunate enough to be on the guest list. The highlight of the evening was a speech in which she thanked everyone for all the support they've given her over the years. One of the many observations she made was that the people with whom you decide to share your life have a huge effect on its quality. Not an earth-shattering revelation, to be sure, but one which sometimes needs to be reiterated when we moan about things which we forget are actually trivial. I wondered if I'll ever be lucky enough to enjoy an evening at which some of the guests have been my friends for 50 years.

Then I realised that I'm not doing too badly so far. Last week, a friend and his wife came over for a visit and he and I realised that we've known each other for over 20 years. We've also been very good at keeping in touch with each other, which hasn't been particularly easy, as we haven't lived in the same country for over 10 years. So I guess what I'm saying is that regardless of what other successes I may or may not achieve, I do hope I'm always blessed with the company of friends.

'BOOKER' - Tuesday 11th October 2005

The winner of this year's Booker Prize was announced last night: John Banville's The Sea. I confess, of the six shortlisted authors, Banville's name was the least familiar to me. The three 'guest critics' at BBC2's coverage of the prize-giving ceremony didn't think he had a hope of winning. The bookies - whoever they are - hadn't put him forward as a favourite either. But win he did... which, if nothing else, means that one more tiny glimmer of hope has sparked into life for every aspiring novelist in the country.

'FRIDA KAHLO AND BLOGGING' - Thursday 6th October 2005

The other day, I spent some time wandering around www.blogspot.com. They' ve got this feature which allows you to jump from one randomly selected blog to another. All sorts of unexpected things came up. Teenagers moaning about exam revision. War correspondents painting grim pictures of fractured countries. Holidaymakers giving day-by-day accounts of their bicycle journeys around Europe. I found myself clicking on 'Next Blog >>' in an increasingly obsessive manner... - and then I remembered that I've got a well-rehearsed sneer for moments when anyone utters the words 'Reality TV', but I won't pursue that train of thought right now - ... and I found myself wondering, not for the first time, how all-pervasive the cult of the individual has become. Who are we all that we think our ramblings are worthy of an audience? And not just any audience, mind you, but potentially the biggest audience imaginable. Who am I that I've decided the world would somehow benefit from my own .com? Is blogging the height of arrogance?

And then I remembered the Frida Kahlo exhibition I recently visited at the Tate Modern. Although the variety of works on display made it clear that she embraced a fairly wide range of subjects, there's no denying that Kahlo is best remembered for her surreal self-portraits. Each one provides a sly, ambiguous insight into her life. Each one is painfully personal. Apparently, each one projects deeper socio-political resonances, although these are largely thrown aside in favour of a 'Big Brother' style peek into her personal relationships, her deepest fears and worries. So does that mean Kahlo was one of the 20th century's first bloggers? And does that in turn mean that her art is as valuable as the mental flotsam that comes up when you click on 'Next Blog>>'?

'ODDITY' - Wednesday 5th October 2005

Go to Google.com... type FAILURE into the search box... click on I'm Feeling Lucky...

Weird, eh?

Not much else to report, except that this morning, whilst waiting to be taken into an operating theatre to have a cyst removed from my eyelid, I had a truly pleasant conversation with a Chinese/Malaysian nurse who asked me where my name comes from, what I do for a living and whether I have a "religious faith". I answered all his questions honestly and I wasn't in the least bit offended by them and I confess I felt a tiny bit sorry for all the politically correct 'Brits' missing out on equally stimulating conversations because they'd never dare to make any remotely similar inquiries.

'BITTER' - Wednesday 28th September 2005

Why are bitterness and resentment feelings we cling to more comfortably and more readily than openness and forgiveness? I think some people (and I absolutely do not exclude myself here) must be 'grudge addicts', getting off on feeling their stomach churn around with tension for days on end, (perversely?) enjoying the fact that they are standing on what they perceive to be the moral highground by maintaining a veneer of aloofness and dignified outrage.

My own answer to the question is that, as in so many other situations, the path of bitterness is chosen because it is much easier to find and much safer to tread. The opposite path is full of traps, full of secret passages which expose our vulnerabilities and it's also quite a lonely place. But I feel that whenever someone is bold enough to follow it, they enjoy the rewards brought by its destination, not least because the other path doesn't actually lead anywhere. It just keeps going round and round.

'REJECTION' - Thursday 22nd September 2005

My pile of rejection letters for State Of Emergency grows larger. Most of them are poorly photocopied, hastily written rags. (And they're on such small pieces of paper. Reject my work if you want to, but at least do it on a whole sheet of A4!) But there are a few that make surprisingly interesting reading.

I received one yesterday which started with the familiar refrain, but proceeded to outline a list of writers' network websites I might consider visiting. Then there was one from an agent who said there simply "aren't enough hours in the day!" to take on any more clients. And today's is my favourite so far, purely because it said: "Your submission is unsuitable for various reasons."

Entrepreneurs take note: there is a niche for a 'rejection letter writing' service!

'BACK IN PRINT' - Wednesday 21st September 2005

Here it is! The cover of the current issue of Canada's PRISM INTERNATIONAL magazine, which contains a short story called The Edge Of Happiness written by Yours T. Please visit the PRISM site... and, if you're feeling generous and/or curious, order your own copy of the mag.

'BAGGAGE' - Wednesday 7th September 2005

I bumped into an ex-pupil today. Let's call him... umm... Kyle. I taught him over a year and a half ago for only one term. Anyway, he saw me before I saw him, so he called my name (which is always nice) and I went over to him and asked him how he's been since I stopped working at his school. He was pleasant and courteous, but he made it clear he wasn't going to let me go without clearing something up.

"You moved me down a set," he said, looking me straight in the eye.

"Sorry?"

"You moved me down. Before you left ___ School, you said I should be moved down a set."

"Well, I didn't move you down for a personal reason. It's just something that happens. Teachers get together and decide who needs to be moved down and who needs to be moved up... and I guess your name was put forward as someone who should be moved down."

"Yeah, well, I got a B anyway, so that shows all you lot were wrong."

<sigh sigh deep breath >

"Well, Kyle, why don't we just say that maybe you got a B because you got moved down and therefore felt you needed to prove someting to all us lot?"

At which point he grinned and said, "Yeah, maybe"... but of course I walked away thinking I'll always remain The Teacher Who Moved Him Down.

'ARCHIVE' - Thursday 1st September 2005

I suspect anyone reading this will have figured this out for themselves, but just to prevent any confusion: all previous diary entries have now been relegated to a 'July/August' archive, a procedure which will hopefully be carried out on a monthly basis.

And yes, this is an utterly redundant post, but I've just come home from the first day back at work and I'm wondering how I'm going to find any energy to do anything in the least bit productive with the rest of my evening... and today wasn't even a hard day. Roll on Friday!